{"product_id":"holey-hiker-bidet","title":"Holey Hiker Bidet","description":"\u003cul class=\"a-unordered-list a-vertical a-spacing-mini\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThere are three videos you should watch:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=MV-fJbJm8HY\"\u003eCLICK HERE\u003c\/a\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eto see a ridiculously long video that I made explaining\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cb\u003ehow to use\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ethe Holey Hiker Bidet.\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/yov8zhgVc0g\"\u003e \u003c\/a\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/yov8zhgVc0g\"\u003eCLICK HERE\u003c\/a\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eto see a video about how to put the bidet\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein and out\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eof a bottle \u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnd you can\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/ERDQFSx2LMg\"\u003eCLICK RIGHT HERE\u003c\/a\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eto see a video about the new bidet.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003eInternational customers please\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/docs.google.com\/document\/d\/e\/2PACX-1vQ0lLn_QsKPfBXWGScE2DewTG02yBPbBwFPrszxXBekfdvyzbwb3sKkXibb-87nW_SnLFRkz94L5UOO\/pub\"\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003eclick here\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003efor ordering instructions!\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/maps\/d\/u\/0\/viewer?mid=1lHIMxrEutR_bUB5CcebHgJwNvO24hh4P\u0026amp;ll=36.80427992893824%2C-94.59901109588046\u0026amp;z=5\"\u003eClick here to see where the Holey Hiker Bidets are being used!\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOk, now repeat after me:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\" I (state your name), from this day forward, take this bidet to be my faithfully trusted piece of gear, to own and to hold, through thick and thin poops, to be used daily in the woods away from a trail, and at least 150' away from water, until death or chronic constipation do us apart.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe picture of the Holey Hiker Bidet might show you what it looks like, but it does not come close to bringing you the same emotional joy that you will feel after using it the first time. Order one now. It will arrive at your home in a week or two. Take it out of the box. Pop it into your favorite water bottle. Drop your pants. Squirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou know what you are feeling?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFreedom.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFreedom from toilet paper. Freedom from chaffing and monkey butt. Freedom from that smell that starts coming up after about three days on the trail. Freedom from the guilt you have been feeling for years. You know that smearing poop against your skin with toilet paper until it disappeared just did not seem to make any sense. You are now living guilt free. You are living clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIn the words of some of our favorite customers:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003e\"I bought 2 bidets from you back in April. My wife and I spent the summer and fall hiking on the PCT and \"the original squirt\" was a superstar. It blew our minds. Our rear ends have never been so clean. We will never carry toilet paper again except in the most dire of desert conditions.\"  --Jacob\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003e\"Wash your butt. It’s only weird the first time or two and then you’re like, 'Why didn’t I start doing this years ago' Seriously. Wash your butt already.\" Phillip P\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/maps\/d\/u\/0\/viewer?mid=1lHIMxrEutR_bUB5CcebHgJwNvO24hh4P\u0026amp;ll=36.80427992893824%2C-94.59901109588046\u0026amp;z=5\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer nofollow\"\u003eClick here to see where the Holey Hiker Bidets are being used!\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kula Cloth","offers":[{"title":"Standard Bidet","offer_id":52332870205719,"sku":"BID\/STD","price":13.75,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"CNOC bottle compatible bidet","offer_id":52332870238487,"sku":"BID\/CNOC","price":13.75,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0067\/1029\/6691\/files\/Screenshot_20240226_065520_Gallery-01_org.jpg?v=1772135435","url":"https:\/\/kulacloth.sbs\/products\/holey-hiker-bidet","provider":"Kula Cloth","version":"1.0","type":"link"}