{"product_id":"kula-cloth-for-premium-urinators","title":"KÜLA CLOTH for PREMIUM URINATORS","description":"\u003cp\u003eK\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eÜLA CLOTH:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eFor PREMIUM URINATORS.  The ultimate luxury wiping experience and the most luxurious and expensive toilet paper alternative in the universe.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e This Küla Cloth was designed for the most discriminating customer. Not recommended to be used on anything smaller than a 50ft yacht, preferably in French Polynesia. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eGold-infused antimicrobial properties and woven with a diamond encrusted needle from magically absorbent silk fibers produced by an ancient spider who lives amongst of a cluster of amethyst crystals in a mountain lair next to a secret bubbling spring with healing waters.  \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eHand-foraged, sustainable, one of a kind display branch is \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/kulacloth.sbs\/products\/hand-foraged-sustainable-kula-cloth-display-branch\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"\u003esold separately\u003c\/a\u003e.  \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eAlso, please note: this is a \u003cem\u003ejoke\u003c\/em\u003e... as in... \u003cem\u003enothing I just wrote is real. Please do not buy this.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0067\/1029\/6691\/files\/20_000_count_thread_It_feels_so_divine_It_ll_wipe_away_moisture_That_s_been_left_behind_Ultimate_luxury_Sophisticated_and_Classy_Use_it_for_pee_Not_for_your_Ass-y..png?v=1644025425\" alt=\"\" style=\"float: none;\"\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Kula Cloth","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39828543471704,"sku":"","price":100000.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0067\/1029\/6691\/products\/kula_green_pattern_new.png?v=1644025137","url":"https:\/\/kulacloth.sbs\/products\/kula-cloth-for-premium-urinators","provider":"Kula Cloth","version":"1.0","type":"link"}